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ShareWare OnLine 2
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ShareWare OnLine Volume 2 (CMS Software)(1993).iso
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FA-17
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1993-03-23
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9KB
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189 lines
And you wondered why sysops keep track of how many files you download...
The Sysop's Tale
by Karl Sandwell-Weiss
He slouched in his chair, legs crossed yoga style, peering
at the glowing screen. The clock in the screen corner said 2 A.M.
His eyes watched the letters form commands, and he shivered a bit in
anticipation. He had another leech on the line. Crom, how he hated
the file hoovers. He still had the feeling that files were wealth, and
couldn't get over the way they could be reproduced. Things were different
in this new country.
He peered again, myopically, and saw the leech was using Zmodem and
doing a batch download of file section 18, DV and QEMM programs. Blast!
He'd worked long and hard to get those files. But he could be patient. If
nothing else, his forbearers, working in the mines of the old country, had
instilled patience in his genes.
He stuck a finger in his ear, and wormed some wax on it. Sticking his
finger in his mouth, he sucked on it absently, wondering about the best way
to reel in this leech, this particular file sucker, into his reaches.
Another thing about this particular hoover - his ANSI signatures really
grated on his eyes. The leech must have spent * days * working on getting
just that particular combination of glaring, screeching colors and shapes.
Ugh.
And like the rest of his kind, he seemed to be completely incapable
of writing in compete sentences, didn't know how to turn the caps lock off,
and the only kind of punctuation he knew was !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, it was just a matter of time. Reaching into his snack bag, the
Sysop pulled out a BBQ rib. Even through the tang of the sauce, his taste
buds could sense the chemicals used to fatten the animal, and it was far too
greasy for his preference. He much preferred the taste of free running
stock, even if it was stringy and tough.
"OK, he's finished with that load, let's CHAT." Pressing the F3 key,
the Sysop's software sent a message, "Hi, this is the Sysop, and we are in
CHAT mode!"
"HEY, HOW DONG D00D, WATCH KIND MACHINE YOU RUNNNIG?"
Sysop sighed. The hoover couldn't type or spell, either. And if the
twit had read Bulletin 3, he would know. Typing rapidly, the Sysop
replied, "Got 486/55, 2 Intel 14.4s, 3 megs online, SVGA, HPSJ2c, running
DV and Dos 6a."
"OK,let's see if he can read," thought Sysop.
"WOW D00D, WHERE U GIT ^^6A!!!!!ALL I GOT IS A LOSY AT MY
MOM GAVE ME WHEN SHE GOT A 386!!!"
The hoover couldn't carry on a coherent conversation, either, which
further grated on Sysop's nerves.
"I know guy, frind of his fathrs progrmas for MS, and gave
hs odl man a copy, and i got it frm him." If nothing else,
Sysop had learned protective coloration.
"WOW, CAN I GET COPY!!! I GOT SOME NEAT STUFF TO TRAID!!!!"
Settling even further into his chair, the Sysop took the keyboard off
the desk and put it in his lap. Pecking quickly and proficiently, he typed
"What got??????"
"SUPPER TETRRS!!! ITS A NEAT GAME WITH BOMBS AND COLORS,
AND SOUND. I GOT IT FOR MY BIRTHDAY. ITS A GGOD GAME."
"No, i alredy got it, what else u got? Any good warze?"
"I CAAN GET WORDPER51 MY MOM HAS IT ON HER MACHNE!!!"
"I got WP 5.2c for Windoze and the beta test ofr WP5.3. u
got anythng else.\?"
Sysop was in his realm now, trading, and going against an
inexperienced pup at that. Wealth - this was it. Data meant power, and
power meant wealth. He continued to play the fish.
"Naw, i got all that stuff. u got gifs? good stuff?"
"YEAH, I FOUND THE STUFF MY DAD HAD HIDD, I CAN GET
SOME!!!!"
"OK, gif me", Sysop typed, and then hit F5. The screen showed "CHAT
mode over, Sysop says Goodby." and the main menu for the BBS came back up.
As he slouched even further in his chair, Sysop peered intently at the
screen. After a few seconds, "U" for upload showed. Zmodem was selected,
and BEVERLY.GIF started its way over the phone lines to his hard drive.
Grimacing, Sysop scratched himself. He hadn't bathed in a long time, and
his skin was becoming patchy.
"Huh, Beverly again." She seemed popular this year. According to the
descriptions, she was some kind of something on a TV show. Sysop never
watched TV. Too boring.
At long last the upload was finished. At 2400 baud, it had taken
several minutes, and the phone lines in the area were pretty bad, resulting
in several transmission errors. The speaker in his machine started beeping.
The pest had paged him. Pressing the F3 key, the Sysop's software again
sent the message, "Hi, this is the Sysop, and we are in CHAT mode!"
"HEY D00Z, THAT GOOD ONE, FROM STAR TREK, NEW
GENERITON GOOD PROGRAMM, I LKE IT, DO YOU!!!!! THE GIF SHOWS
EVERYTHING."
Sysop quickly typed back "Ok, I got it. u got more good
gifs?"
"YESS, LOTS, YOU WANT ME TO SEND THEM TO YOU?"
Shuddering, for he despised that type of data, Sysop answered "No way,
at 2400 take too long. dos is 8 1.4 meg discs, and gifs take way too long
at 2400,,, where cna we meat?"
"I GOTTA GO TO SHCULL TOMORO, HATE IT, MRS TROUBLE BUTT
FOR SCOCIANCE, BUT I SLEEP THRU IT CAUSE I LIKE COMPUTERS AND
STAY UP ALL NITE TO HACK ON THEM. CAN WE MEET AFTER SCHOOL
IN GYM OR SOMETHIN!!!! WOW D00DZ, I GOTTA GET THAT VR DOS.
MY FRINDS REALLY LIKE SEE IT!!!!
Smiling now, Sysop typed back, "Can you get Huntington Metro, upper
parking lot, row K, at midnite tomorrow?"
"HEYHEYHEY, TOMOROS A SCHOOL NITE, DON'T KNOW IF I ACN
GET OUT OF THE HOUSE, MY OLD MAN SETS THE ALARM, CAN W E
MEET IN THE DAY SOMETIME"
"No, I go to a private school, and we don't get off until 5,
then I have to do homework. I live by huntington and can
make it there. If you cant then I cant givb you the warze"
was typed with a smirk on Sysop's face.
"OKOKO, I BE THERE"
"Bring the gifs - and I want them on high density files and
make sure they zipped, and not with that 204c crap, use the old one!!!!
and no ARJ or LZH" As Sysop had learned, making the deal sound too good
could lose him the trade.
"YEHA, OKOK, YOU WANT 3.5 AOR 5" DISKS"
"Either one will be fine, just make sure they are zipped." And with
an evil grin, Sysop did a Ctrl, Alt, Del before his correspondent could
answer, watched his machine reboot into the BBS, and went to bed.
At midnight, Sysop waited for the meeting. He crouched behind some
cars and watched. He had a good idea what his trading partner would look
like, and he was right. At 11:54 P.M., a pasty faced, pudgy nerd walked
into sight, his Nikes lisping on the concrete. He had a disk box in his
hand and was looking around with more than a hint of fear.
"Over here" Sysop whispered in a harsh voice. Pasty Face jerked
around and stumbled toward the voice.
"You got the Dee Oh Ssss? Man, my friends are really looking to see
this stuff, hope it's rad." Poor Pasty Face. His voice cracked in the
middle of the sentence. "I brought some other stuff too, like how to make
gunpowder, and TNT, and the directions for some really powerful acid that
will eat anything."
Thinking how stupid the last was, since you couldn't keep it in
anything, he stepped out from between the cars and the user got a good look
at him. "Hey dude, why are you wearing Spock ears? Are you a Vulcan or
something?"
"No, I just came from a Star Trek convention. You got the gifs?"
"Yeah, right here. I looked, some of it was really neat, all skin."
"OK, let me have it." The deed was quickly done, and Sysop
went home.
Later on, as Sysop watched his screen, he reached across the table
to the plate of roast meat. Grimacing, he choked it down. It was loaded
with carbohydrates and chemicals. Seemed the animal had eaten nothing but
junk, filled with preservatives, and once again, it was full of fat. Well,
anyway, that was one leech less. No one would question his disappearance
except his immediate family. He would just stop posting and none of the BBS
operators would miss him.
As Sysop picked his teeth, he figured that he was going to have to
trap a runner next time. He had heard that eating all that fat could be bad
for his heart.
=X=X=X=